1) My Uncle once: became my landlord.
2) Never in my life: have I been considered the "bad boy."
3) When I was five: I something something I can't remember now 'cause I can't remember most things from when I was under twelve.
4) High school was: split in two chronological halves, lame/cool, innocent/not.
5) I will never forget: burning a single human hair pulled out of my own head, in the bathroom on a slow afternoon, because I wanted to see what would happen. Then thinking, because it was such an odd thing to be doing, "you'll never forget this."
6) I once met: Richard Dawkins, so I can die young, but I don't wanna.
7) There’s this girl I know who: don't get me started.
8) Once, at a bar: I was told by a drunk I "had that look of someone who knew what they were doing." I guess that's why she was a drunk.
9) By noon I’m usually: either getting sleepy or waking up (the pattern is random).
10) Last night: I explained what a 'bit' was to a person much smarter than I.
11) If I only had: less of a heart.
12) Next time I go to church: I'll go feet first.
13) Terry Schiavo: Giordano Bruno.
14) What worries me most: is the time wasted.
15) When I turn my head left, I see: a framed Arizona Daily Star cover, "Men Land on The Moon."
16) When I turn my head right, I see: A sofa, over it a bookshelf, dartboard, window, Florida stretching infinitely.
18) What I miss most about the eighties: being four.
19) If I was a character written by Shakespeare, I’d be: Antonio.
22) I have a hard time understanding: goddamn MM Flash.
23) If I ever go back to school I’ll: stand up for myself like a motha.
24) You know I like you if: you never will. Sorry. You'll have to ask. It sucks.
25) If I won an award, the first person I’d thank would be: the whoever gave the award... nothing else makes sense.
26) Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferraro: Yay, hello, aw yeah, and I'll go google.
27) Take my advice, never: on second thought, don't take my advice.
28) My ideal breakfast is: oh oh, check this out: eggs hussard with marchand de vin sauce.
29) A song I love, but do not have is: not having songs is the least of my troubles.
30) If you visit my hometown, I suggest: telling me what the hell it looks like now.
31) Tulips, character flaws, microchips & track stars: N/A, same as character traits, sweet, and, wait, is this a Belle & Sebastian reference?
32) Why won't anyone: be?
33) If you spend the night at my house, don't: worry.
34) I'd stop my wedding for: if she said "tomato."
35) The world could do without: all is contingent on everything else.
36) I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: fellate a cockroach.
37) My favorite blonde is: I don't know, Elizabeth Shue? (Wait, I got it:
Monica Vitti)
38) Paper clips are more useful than: most things.
40) And by the way: I love and I hate Alice Coltrane.
41) The last time I was drunk, I: had the same rotten old time.
