Not Wings

Faux meat - is there a vegetarian phrase more laughable to the non-vegetarian? I've gotten used to and even learned to like Boca's, Morningstar Farms', and Gardenburger's frozen meat replacement products, but it would be a stretch to say that I like the taste of any of them more than the real thing. Quorn, a mycoprotein popular in Europe, is a different story, however.

Whatoprotein? Well, don't tell anyone, but Quorn is a fungus. You know, like porcinis, truffles, and the like. It's a fancy fungus with a texture and taste damn close to poultry. You can find it in your local treehugger foodstore. All the products I've sampled have been great, but I thought I'd do an Xtreme recipe with their already tasty Naked Cutlets. So without further ado, I present Not Wings, my take on hot wings. You will need:

- 1 box Quorn Naked Cutlets
- 1/4 cup butter
- 5 tbsp your favorite hot sauce
- paprika, celery salt, garlic powder, black pepper to taste

Leave butter at room temperature until it melts, or microwave briefly. Stir hot sauce into it. Pan-heat the cutlets per box instructions (about 10 minutes in a little oil) and season halfway through. Slice them into chicken-wing-sized bits and toss with sauce in a bowl.

Serve with celery sticks and blue cheese sauce. Use blue cheese salad dressing or make your own blue cheese sauce by combining cheese with heavy cream.

There you go - spicy, hot, greasy, and bone-free. Yay.